Written by Alena Housego aka Soul, aka Iceexplosive
PUBLISHED JUNE 16TH
Dedicated to LIFE IN THE FAST LANE AND THOSE WHO ABUSE IT,
Terms and conditions of use detailed below
Rhyd's a guy , he's addicted to air, wheels and anything thats got soft cushioning when he lands. He rides everything and anything. He woke up one day just feeling completely bummed out about
life cos. his wheels just don't give him the speed that he needs, so he goes for a walk. Finds this Store and there in the window Bang - the skate board that makes a guy get wet in his dreams. His old board is way to wood, this thing is like a grenade launcher, made of steal the kind that folds,
cerchink, cerchink, cerchink into a metal box, at a click of a switch, pressure compression.
It's got a radar device for picking up messages from King Board (You haven't met that air slicker yet) . Its also got some fancy weaponry ( Rhyd doesn't know this yet), he needs it if he's going to make it through Steel City alive. Its got classy ass foot wear, the type that when you jump the board resizes to your feet.
The place where he bought it thats kind of creepy though, cos. you see the guy at the counter, well he ain't human. You see he's got this zip at the back of his neck and when Rhyd leaves the store he unzips it and we get to see what the store owner really looks like - Ewwe, this guys so rotten to the core, he stinks more than the Slaughter House down the road and god know's what kind of creepy shits happening in there at the moment.
So Rhyd's he's feeling cool, he's feeling hot, his feeling cocky. He takes a
look left, right, throws down his board and jumps his new ride. Problem is
Rhyd :"What the fuck is going on, this thing ain't a board, its alive".
His kicking left and this things going right. There ain't no stopping it either, he's looking rather confused by now cos. it ain't exactly a slow ride either, I think his turning green , but that ain't
half as green as the color his going to go when he reaches his first destination. And Ewe, that slaughter house is getting closer.
Rhyd: "Wow, this ain't what I expected" ,
but Rhyd he's always been cool, so rather than fight the flow of the
direction he's always know he decides to just LET GO.
Rhyd: "Okay board, show me what you got".
Well thats when board kick's in, you see, he don't know this yet but this board got implant's of the silicon kind, this board is programmed to hit, skip, flip and do all the shift, so basically he gets
board attitude and then he throws up. Puke. Course he has to get of the board to do that and when he looks up that's when he sees the Slaughter House sign.
Rhyd: "Why the hell do I want to be at the Slaughter
But being the kind of guy that likes to sort out what's what in the New Territory he decides to take a look around, (desizes the air cushion button on board ctschh), that's when he notices the broken window he scales the wall to get in. Shame he cuts his hand on the broken glass on the way in but that's kind of important for what happens later, so you see a couple of big red drops fanging from his hand.
Grind, crunch, crunch, grind, that's the noise coming from the room next door, looks like the refrigeration unit, and who are those two Counter Jerks pounding their meat. Guess its time to get closer and hear what their talking about.
Fie's: "Make sure you drain these suckers dry, this
blood's worth more to us than Microsoft on the open Market",
so I guess your wondering how that could be, Rhyd sure is.
Kie's: "You know Kie's if you weren't my twisted twin brother, Id be saying your a genius , but I already know I am so I guess thats a compliment".
Rhyd's thinking SICK GAY TWINS.
Fie & Kies are wearing black leather bondage outfits, because they don't just like beating their own meat in the spare time.
So what are they doing with the the blood from the dead cow and sheep chops hanging in the corner. Looks like its being packaged in hospital blood bags, but not before they add a few droplets from the canister in the corner. Strange that while there doing it a few droplets fall on the floor and whats that fly that started sniffing around in it doing, ukkee, looks like its depositing a few eggs.
Rhyd hears a noise.
Kie's: "Sounds like the vans turned up, go and check it out".
Fies leaves the room. Meanwhile Kie's keeps packing the bags in boxes. What's Rhyd doing, well basically he's thinking something smells kind of fishy here, worse than that chick I went down on last weekend maybe she had canandida.
Rhyd: "I think I should check this out a bit more".
Kie's leaves the room to check on bent brother Fie's. Thats when Rhyd goes for the mad dash, shame he slips in the spilt blood and opps sorry pal but you've just picked up a sample of the
fly blown blood in your cut, gee I hate to do that to you but that's what you get when you stick your nose in other peoples business. Not only that you've also managed to knock the table and ceeerassh a metal container hits the ground. Well of course we all know that the Fie's and Key's are going to come running back in.
Kie's: "What the fuck was that?"
Rhyds out the window by now.
Fie's: "Could be one of those mangey fucking cats. Jesus Christ, its spilt the fucking formula".
Kie's starts beating Kie's around the head.
Kie's: "You fucking idiot you left the door open"
Kie's: "I didn't leave the door open, what the fuck are you talking about"
Kie's pull's out his bondage whipping stick and hits his brother back. Both look at each other kind of weirdly.
Both scream : "Shit - check the fucking place out".
They do a scan but of course they don't see nothing Rhyd's on the roof.
Rhyd: "GGGuck, I've got to get this shit of my hand",
he's whipping the formula and the blood all over his clothes. Of course the thrill of it all got his blood pumping and he ain't about to say no to this kind of adrenaline, man he ain't fell this good since his last
tube of FREEZE.(Opps and all along we thought he was going to be a veggie eating good boy). You don't know what FREEZE is yet but you will.
So Rhyd's peering over the roof at what down in the parking lot, an
Rhyd: "That weird, guess the two brothers got over Zealous with their beatings".
Thats when he sees Fie's packing the box in the back of the ambulance, and whats Kie's doing, looks like he's receiving payment for the shipment. Rhyd cant hear whats going on so its time to get him a little closer to the action. Plus he wants to get a closer look at the driver.
Get's within hearing range.
Dr. Sickle (the driver), well of course he's as sick looking as the patients he drives around and attends to. Why's he called Sickle, I guess it's cos it looks like somebody had a go at his face with a Sickle - a curved metal blade with a short handle, not only that it means to form a crescent shape so his face really is quite distorted, problem is did he do it to himself or did somebody do it to him, guess were going to find that out later.
Dr. Sickle : "I must thank you gentlemen its always a pleasure doing business with such outstanding members of the community like yourself. Nobody realizes the significance of my work, but let me assure you that your contribution to the development of cellular regrowth in cross genetic fertilization will not go unnoticed".
Kie's doesn't have a fucking clue what he's talking about
Kie's: "No worries Doc, you keep those payments rolling in, I might even start donating my
Business is finished so its time to shake hands and the Doc gets in the van to drive away.
Fie's :"That guy is a crazy fuck up, you know that".
Kie's :" Yeah well he's not half as fucked up as his experiments are going to be with that formula I've added to that blood shit".
They both snigger and walk back into the slaughter house where they start beating each other with the dead fish laid out on the conveyer belt. Guess your wondering what's happened to Rhyd.???
Rhyd: "I've got a feeling this Doc ain't from the
house of humanitarian science, Id better check it out". Looks at his watch,
Rhyd: "Its getting late, I need to get home before dark, don't want to get caught night side without Protec. "
Pulls board out of pocket. Looks at it :
Rhyd: "I wonder it this things going to make me puke again".
Board : "Ctsschhh, chink, chink, chink. "Board ready for action."
Rhyd : "This is getting weird, a talking board"
The Ambulance has pulled out the drive way and what do we see, well Rhyds clinging on the back for dear life. Dr. Sickle's just turned on the radio and tuned into the latest, radio
sensation and it ain't Wolf Man Jack spinning the tunes, its PlastiK Pussy. Goes to an insert cartoon of Plastik Pussy sitting in her studio which is fully decked out in flaming PINK.
Plastic Pussy: "Okay you freaks and geeks and stero jerk offs, with your meat for beat and your talk cheap for feed. I'm puttin' it out with the cellophane style, its going to drive you wild, and this one's fresh of my wet spot its STRAPT and you know there going to give it to you hard, just the way we like it."
We see the hospital up ahead, and whats this, Dr. Sickle's driving to his
ward, whats it called The Lab. Turns the ambulance off in the middle of
Strapt Song. Meanwhile we see Rhyd and the board disappear on to the roof
of the ambulance. He's left a blood sample from his cut on the
ambulance door handle, opps. Dr. Sickle slides out the Ambulance casts a suspicious glance left and right when he notices the blood smear . But there's no one around.
Dr. Sickle:"Whats this I see, Human error, there can be no human error ". (Sickles turning into a Gestapo)
He takes a cloth from his coat and wipes it clean.
Dr. Sickle: "Those two social misfits will destroy me if they leave evidence that could incriminate me or even associate me with my current experiments."
Takes boxes enters The Lab.
Rhyd'smore concerned about his hand right about now
Rhyd: "Shift, when's this thing going to stop, I'm leaking more than my old man"
Rips his shirt and wraps it around his hand.
Gets off the ambulance and takes a peep from a slit in the blind into The Lab for the first time. Its too dangerous to follow Sickle in. So what is DR. SICKLE hiding in his lab. ??
Hmm interesting, looks just like a normal lab, blood on the boil, lotions and potions bubbling in the tubes, but whats this, Dr Sickle turns up the heat on one of his current experiments and its
an ingenious contraption devised around the principles of a smoke detector, when a certain amount of steam hits the pressure pad on the ceiling a device is activated and swish an electronic door opens to a hidden lab. Exit Doctor Sickle and his blood samples.
Rhyd looks at his watch.
Rhyd: "I've seen enough time to get out of here".
But first looks at his hand in a kind of freaky way, Unwraps his bloodied bandage and drops it in the bushes.
Rhyd : "What's this shit?"
The muscle under his thumb has just double in size and this thing is itchy as all fuck.
Rhyd: "This don't feel good".
Opens board release button :
Board : "Your destination"
Rhyd : "Home"
Board : "That territory has not been mapped, please be more specific"
Rhyd : "Then your home asshole"
Board : "My home is not asshole"
Rhyd : "How about I take the lead and you just shut the Fuck up then"
Board closes down, ctschhhh. Rhyd throws the board down on the ground round about now, cos his getting shitted off , feeling dizzy and his looking very pale, anymore blood loss and he might not make it home on that board.
Rhyd : "Asshole board doesn't know what Fuck means", opens board again,
Rhyd: "Do you have an extended language capability"
Rhyd: "Well shut the fuck up means, be quiet""
Board : "Ahh silent mode"
Rhyd : "Yeah, silent mode, now map this direction, because it's your new home".
Head's off home dusk is just starting to fall. Enters front gate of apartment building. Of course there's a No Skate Board Sign, and who's this in the passage way, carrying her guitar.
J-String - "Hey Rhyd, watz up, you look like you
just joined, night of the living dead.
Rhyd - "I'm not feeling to well J, I'll talk to you later".
J- String see's his hand,
J- String " Wow man, you got to watch out if you turn out like that when you get on a board, I sure as hell don't want to get in a car with you"
Rhyd - "Yeah funny, I almost forgot, why'd they call you J- String anyway?".
J- String - " Because the G didn't fit"
Rhyd - " Yeah right. Out of here".
Closes door of apartment as J-String yells out
J String - "Hey watchout for the mailbox, looks like the wasps are building a nest".
Rhyd enters his room as J-Strings voiced gets muffled by the door.
So what happens when Rhyd gets inside, of course he throws the board on the
couch and then he's of to the bathroom to find his medicine case. His feeling
sick, the lump on his hand's looking like a boiled egg turned inside out. He
throws a bunch of disinfecting powder over it hoping that will stop the
infection and maybe the itching and then he downs half a packet of pain killers.
We see him stumble out of the bathroom as his vision starts doubling up. Looks
like his apartments going to cave in, and his head feels like someone just stuck
a Pitch Fork threw his earhole. He takes a dive for the couch and bang he makes
it to slumber land in comfort.
Enter The Dream Sequence
Rhyd's reality conscious escapes him and he ascends into the realms of
electronic magnetic collision. Sparks are flying at this guy he thinks his on
Rhyd: "Aaaaghh what the shit is happening to me ?"
As he tries to put out the flames, but he's not actually on fire.
Boom King Boards Voice Kicks in
KB: " You are amongst friends do not fear"
Rhyd looks around rather confused. Covering his eyes abit to because the glare of those sparks aren't helping his eyesight too much
Rhyd: "What's going on, Where am I ?"
King Board : "You are with the King of Boards and your destiny has now been set, your future lies ahead of you".
Rhyd: "Yeah well it always did, I'm dreaming right?".
King B : "This may seem like a dream but you have stept out of the realms of human conscious into Dream State, here you become connected with the Energy of universal existence, that is the light that you see around you. You are moving through time and consciousness with all beings around you. You appear in your own human shape too yourself but to all those around you and all those that you meet in your travels you are but a speck of light an electrical charge, a measure of charge that
melts through the corridors of time, like the stars of galaxies long gone and forgotten.
Rhyd: "Yeah, well how did you get here then"
King Board : "I am an ever permeating existence of time a Supreme Being , You may call me King Board or KB for short, Life and the Galaxies as we know it enjoy their travels because "I provide the structures and momentum upon which all life continues".
Rhyd : "Well what the hell am I doing here?"
King Board : "You own destiny has bought you before me and from this time on you must follow the waves of airborne principles. Your life may be thrown into Chaos but your commitment to serving the Kingdom of Board will see you seated amongst us once your Earthly Life has realized its
Rhyd : "Yeah and then I'm going to board it to Board Heaven, right!, Nice meeting you KB or should I just call you KGB and get my badge marked "At Your Air Born Service" at the next door marked Cloud 9 for exit service, Knew I took to many pain killers".
King Board : "You do not believe, I understand but time holds its mysteries and adventures which shall cement you into the corridors and passages of many dimensions of travel and existence, your time has come and now you join us as RHYD to become King of Board Riders."
We hear this loud thundering noise as Rhyd is stopped in his travels with the Supreme Being King Board and we see him falling through space back to Earthly Time Travel. Hmm interesting, guess something must have woken him up wonder what it was ....???
Rhyd screams out in his sleep, of course he wakes up, but its not from the
dream he just had. Its pain, pain of the most excruciating kind. He looks down
grasps his arm in his other hand and falls to the floor. He's looking at his
hand with a look of bewilderment. Why cos its moving, that hard boiled egg just
finished cooking and somethings cracked this egg. His really screaming out in
agony now, maybe even rolling around on the floor.
Rhyd : "Auuhhggg, ".
Well he can scream all he likes but this is going to stop it, Hand: "Bssssssstffffff", pop, skin ruptures and specks of blood splatter over his face. Of course he's looking looking rather shocked and what
happens next. Well he holds his hand up to his face and there are four greedy maggots chowing down on his muscle tissue. Well of course the first thing he does is starts throwing his hand around trying to get the suckers off, but they've got these circular kind of mouths like suckers and they seem to like holding onto this day time snack. SO he flicks at them with his other hand, meanwhile he's starting to turn green again so I image another Puking Sessions on the way. After some concentrated
effort the four maggots fall to the floor. He manages to squash two with his foot, you know his feeling pretty aggressive because that fight or flight adrenaline has kicked in and we watch as the other two slip threw a crack in the floor board. He falls to the floor in pain and Pukes, some of that goes through the floor boards too. Guess thats going to lay the foundation for a late night snack for our two little maggot creatures that got away. Knock Knock, we hear someone at the front door.
J-String: Hey, whats going on in there? Rhyd, Rhyd are you alright?.
Rhyd looks up at the door, choking a bit on the vomit his still got round his mouth, he wipes it away and gasps .
Rhyd: "Yeah, Yeah I'm okay, I thought you were going to a gig?
J- String: looks kind of confused: "I did that was last night, you sure your okay??.
With that Rhyd's early morning alarm clock kicks in LOUD, we see him look up rather surprised as the time hits 6:00 click, click.
PlastiK Pussy: "PlastiK Pussy coming At You ,Hey Egg Heads and Ovulatory Breast Beepers, time to rise and shine. And if you feel like a rise my style best drop into the studio and we can get it on, and when I say get it on make sure you've got your rubber burning when you hit that exostential
grey matter, cos the streets alive and if it don't take you down, I'm sure as hell going to with this wax track .. kicks in with some totally awesome new track from .......??????."
We see Rhyd crawl over to his clock and slam his hand down on the thing. His head hurts and his hands still throbbing gristle.
Rhyd: "Ahh, yeah J, just a bad dream, guess I lost track of time, sorry about the noise."
J, still looks kind of concerned :
J- String"Well, then keep it down can you I'm still catching The Zzzzz's that got away last night?",
are you getting the feeling like me that J-String kind of likes Rhyd. She seems to be in his face a bit, goes back to her apartment next door. Rhyd getting himself together a bit, still groggy from all the pain killers as he stumbles around back to the bathroom to cover up his new flesh extension.
Rhyd: "What a total Flesh Mess".
Then he's back to deal with the mess on the floor, whats this though, he scoops up the two maggots and there of to the freezer in the kitchen. The vomit, well he uses a wet cloth for that and most of us are just about gagging in the isles as we watch it eeeweee chunky. Then its time for the phone he dials : 310 390 6722, (STTATTOO STUDIO PLUG) we hear someone at the other end
Rhyd: "hey man, whats kicking,"
Studio: "Not Much, maybe my new drum peddles if I got a opportunity to play them"
Rhyd: "Yeah right, hey I hate to do this too ya, but I had major stack attack yesterday and I need to take a raincheck to get it sorted out ".
Studio : "Business is business pal, your not here tomorrow, your doing beggars street".
Slams the phone on Rhyd. He thinks of a quick come back but decides to save it cos his got too much on his mind, like :
Rhyd : "Man , this shit ain't right, I want rid of this time".
He looks around the apartment and there it is BOARD the start of all his Troubles. Moves toward board
Rhyd: "Your going back to your own home pal, your not my time"
Board: "Mapping devices indicate this is home"
Rhyd : "No your real, home, your first home, shop, with the gookey store guy".
Board: "Ahhh, place of first implementation, wise choice"
Rhyd :"Yeah and whys that?".
Board : "You need the manual, human intelligence needs to be directed to realize full capacities".
Rhyd: "Yeah , well find an intellect that wants to, I'm out of here and your out of here".
Rhyd picks up board and starts to head out the door. Meanwhile we hear an interesting noise, Rhyd approaches an electronic side panel situated at the door, an electronic message is running across a miniature screen.
ELECTRONIC SCREEN :
Gee I wonder what the Mail has to tell him, hope its good news for a change..
Rhyd stumbles around a bit more still a bit of balance, picks up his shades
and heads out the door with board in hand. First mission to check the mail.
Problem is he's forgot J- Strings warning so as we know, were thinking Don't
Check The Mail, Don't Check The Mail, but like all bad
asses that have to learn the hard way, this suckers after more punishment, besides that he's still got a head full of Panadole so I guess you do make the occasional error of judgment when your heads not
checked, but whats this the little cage on the back of the mail box is jammed, looks like his going to get off trouble free this time. Nope, sorry Rhyd you still haven't come to the full realization of just what type of mess your in really do you??. So we all know Rhyds impatient and wants his mail, so what does he do, walks to the front of the mail box and whats he doing now , ahhhhh, another big mistake, bending over . Just as he's eye looks in the mail slot one of our not so friendly nesting WASP friends is heading out for his daytime fright adventure and bang we have our first victim and collision not skate board derived.
Well of course Rhyd starts flapping his hand around madly and knocks the box, this of course shakes the nest up and well we all know you don't upset a nest of vipers let alone wasps sssoooo these guys decide to go for where its going to hurt him the most and geeee Rhyd sorry to wreck your day again but these guys went for your eyes and wow I don't think I've ever felt anything as excruciatingly painful as a direct hit with a wasp sting to the right and left eye socket. Wonder what
thats going to do for your vision?.
Well of course Rhyd's screaming his head off enough to wake the neighborhood and we see a few bypassers come to his aid. Of course he drops the board and his sunnies, and his rolling around on the ground screaming.
Rhyd: "My eye's, My eye's, they've got me in my eyes".
Well of course nobody has any idea what his talking about, and his eyes look quite normal to everybody else.
Rhyd: "The Wasp's they've stung my eye's".
Funny thing though, the wasps have moved along after having their nest disturbed so basically everyone thinks this guys just graduated from the S chool of Looney Tunes.
By Passer(Black Dude) :" Hey man, there's nothing wrong with your eye's, calm down".
Rhyd starts looking around him at the little gathering and we see for the first time through his eyes. Now what happens here everything he see's is blood red, but something happening to his vision I guess the blood formula that Dr. Sickles experimenting with is starting to kick in on Rhyd's eyes, or is it in part to do with the new found board hmmm, a Mystery!???. But within a few second's Rhyd's see's everybodys face clearer than he's ever seen before. He starts to stand, rather shakey, and pushes everybody aside, he wants out of here he picks up his board puts on his shades and his off down the street to return the board.
Rhyd: "Should have checked if this thing came with a
Guess thats what happens when you get overzealous with your buying choices. So its back to the Shop. Rhyd's standing at the door front shades on still abit paranoid about the Wasp attack, presses the outer door buzzer, of course we know that our unearthly shopkeeper needs to know if
someones coming so that he can readjust his hair piece and zip at the back of his neck.
ShopKeeper, call him Forbes because his formidable and he's worth lot of money like the magazine, no seriously he's alien and I hear he likes snacking out on little boys, but only after he's secured their
Forbes: "Welcome back my fine young friend."
Rhyd: "Yeah well I might be welcome, but your boards not, can I get a 0 refund on this thing".
Forbes: "I take it the board is not too your liking, perhaps it needs a readjustment".
Rhyd: "The only readjustment this thing needs it the closet trash can".
Forbes: "Ahhhh perhaps you've had some trouble with it, I do recall it came with a Manual, perhaps I mistakenly forgot to pass that onto you".
We flick back into a recollection of Forbes first buying the board of another strange individual.
Forbes has a low long drawl in his voice and we notice a bit of saliva starting to drip from the crack in the side of his mouth, guess he's getting hungry, we see Rhyd turn around to find the closets trash can (Is he eating gum), meanwhile Forbes quickly wipes the saliva from his mouth as he steps
towards Rhyd. Rhyd turns back and gets a little startled, like how the hell did that guy get so close, he backs of a step, he's starting to feel awkward and a bit cheesed off.
Rhyd: "Hey look, I don't want the manual, does it come with a refund or can I exchange it".
Forbes is getting a bit testie himself, must be those lunch time cravings Yeuuke or maybe he has little boy fetishes.
Forbes: "I'll have to check that for you, just a moment".
Rhyd : "Yeah, Yeah , you do that"
Forbes goes behind the counter and checks the receipts meanwhile he's thinking about how he's going to get his hand's on his friend Rhyd he looks like such tastie eating. He thinks about the manual and picks it up as a tempter. He then walks back rather quietly and stands behind Rhyd reaching out to touch him, Rhyd's been trying to waste time looking at some Air Passes on the wall, LIKE HES STILL INTERESTED. He turns around to see the hand reaching out for him of course he's shocked and steps back tripping over some low lying merchandise.
Rhyd: "What the Fuuuu"
Now this is where things really start kicking in because one he's a little bit angry about the board and he knows something ain't right, two he don't like being touched by guys, other than his closest pals for a friendly pat, we see him fall to the ground and whats this he's making some kind of groaning noise and he's holding his head, he's shades have fallen off and we see him clutching at his eyes.
And wow talk about a Metamorphic effect Rhyds eyes have just gone from regular size to hexagonal fist size wasp eyes popping out his head and yes you knew it was coming, he sees six dimensions of everything around him. He quickly grabs for his sun glasses and puts them on. Meanwhile Forbes reaching out for his meat sandwich is trying to pick up the shit thats fallen down around Rhyd.
Rhyd turns around and see the real Forbes with his new vision through the plastic sheath. He starts kicking his feet out to get away from Forbes.
Rhyd: "Don't touch me"
Forbes who cant see through the glasses doesn't realize that Rhyd's inherited extra sensory insect vision as an extra bonus for his boarding pleasure which has just kicked in.
Forbes: "What ever is the matter young man, I'm trying to help you, here's the manual".
Well of course we see the guy as he really is through Rhyd's eyes and none of us are thinking about eating lunch too soon. This guy looks like the lunch that just passed through my elementary canal after a few hours of purification, guess thats why he stank worse than the Slaughter House.
Rhyds freaking: "Just don't come near me".
Forbes: "As you wish" and takes a step back
We see Rhyd stand up and grab for the manual and the board, then its a quick exit out the door.
Forbes calling: "Come Back Soon".
The door closes and Forbes locks it quickly goes and checks in the mirror, he's afraid that during the course of the conversation his masks, come unstuck. Quickly reassured after looking:
Forbes: "What an unusual being, I hope he returns soon, most succulent I'm sure, Hmm, I wonder about that board, I do recall a feeling of deja vu, strange, I've never seen that odd looking fellow back in the shop, I wonder..........I believe I may need to take extra precaution , there's something very strange going on here."
Sure is and we know that its not Fie's and Kie's doing slap stick with the freeze dried fish. So who was the strange being that delivered the board? and when will we find out...
So whats Rhyd doing, well, hes in a total mess and has just got back to his apartment in another mad panic, we see him throw the board down again.
Rhyd: "Shit, what is this ,....... Shit, shit , shit, shit , shit "
He's screaming. Funny thing is he knows his vision changes but doesnt know the effects that it has on his face so when he goes into the bathroom, takes of his shades and has a look in the mirror well, you guessed it, he stumbles around abit as his legs crumble beneath him. Of course he's feeling his face and screaming abit, he like's his human identity so this Bug Fest that manifesting on his face is causing him more stress than he can handle, so he rips at the side of his eyes in an attempt to
divulge the illusion he thinks his having. What we see is him cutting into his face with his fingernails which is way to painful , he stops as he passes out a big bloody mess on the bathroom floor, head
sprawled across the shower grill
Well how do we see this, as a couple of drops of blood fall through the grill we follow them dropping which of course brings us back to the two maggoty fiends that we haven't really been keeping a very good eye on have we. Well they've undergone a few changes since we last saw them, for starters their growing and there ain't much of that spew juice left too munch out on so there on their way heading for another feeding frenzie, guess the sound of those drops of blood falling has caught
their attention or is it the smell of fresh blood, either way their on the move. Have you ever see two over grown maggots crawling around under floor boards in a dusty, musty, crevice, euuweee! looks like a Tight Squeeze.
Now Rhyd's passed out on the floor so his not going to be that exciting is he, well that all depends on what goes on behind his back and it seems like Boards extra sensory unit just kicked in. Up pops Antenna and we have another direct link with outer experience sensory perception, Rhyd's floating in deep seed white space again.
King Board (KB): "Rhyd you must not fight the path that has been chosen for you. You must embrace it as a new journey of conscious existence.
Rhyd: But its not my life, this isn't real, this is not reality.
KB: I have already explained, you have left the realms of conscious normality, you now transcend the unlimitedness of all planes of existence, you are one with all and they are one with you. You must not
fight what exists as your new metabolic processing, you are in a period of change, an evolutionary metamorphic of life as it is and as it is to exist. Embrace your new being as it will serve you well.
Rhyd: But I just want to be me, I'm just a normal guy, I don't need to serve humanity, I just want to live and die like everybody else, don't you understand this isn't what I planned. I don't want to change, Cant I just give the board back and wake up in my bed in the place and existence I know.
KB: There is no way to change the configuration of time, you must learn to understand the past and change to shape the future. You must befriend the future and when it is not your friend you must resolve the discrepancy of time that would prevent the harmonious continuum of life, your task is great and you must develop your senses to fulfill your purpose. Seek knowledge from all those around you. Let the Board assist you on your travels, it will serve and protect you for that is its
Hmm this is all incredible interesting but were bought back to ground control by the sound of the two maggots slishing through the crevice, their getting closer and close to that blood and whats that we see an incy wintsy spider I think the maggots sense another bite surprise but insects being like they are have a very keen sense of danger and this spider decides to make a quick exit up the water spout into the grill just as the first maggot's lechers forward to sucker up this spider in its mouth. Safe, but from one frying pan into the fire and the only exit the spiders got is into Rhyds mouth.
(Interesting that I was once told that a human swallows an average of 27 spiders in their sleep in a lifetime - wonder if thats fact or fiction). Needless to say, we see the spider exit just as the maggot goes for the full swipe and second course. Rhyd wakes up in a coughing fit because he's had his air track blocked has no idea his just swallowed a spider He looks down at the shower grill because he's just heard some weird sucking noise and seen some kind of shadow out the corner of his eye.
So how longs he been crashed out, well long enough for him to realize that if he doesn't move his ass, he's going to be late for work.
Rhyd: "Jeeze Im late"
Grabs the board, shades and jacket, presses releases compression button.
Rhyd: "Now look, I don't want any hassles, just stay in silent mode until I can work out what the hell I'm going to do about this mess".
Board: "If you think its necessary, but guidance systems will remain fully operational".
Rhyd: "Yeah right, you do that"
So Rhyds out the door and skating through the burbs of course we realize that this is in the future so the settings really grey and of course very Steel that includes the armed forces that guard the streets and most people keep out of their way with there ever ominous presence. Enforcers (Street Sweepers) being the way they are, Rhyd gets pulled over for a security check and we see the latest in Identity Check Cards go through a sharp electronic gadget which gives them around down of his life history. I think these guys are Robots:
Enforcer : "Where are you going?" said in monosyllables.
Rhyd who really doesn't need this shift.
Rhyd: "You got my details there, where do you think I'm going"
Enforcer: "Cooperation is necessary to avoid infringement of personal rights".
Feeling totally fucked off But cant get out of control because he doesn't need penitentiary time right this moment.
Rhyd: "I'm going to work".
Robot: "This is your designated task for the day, please continue".
Rhyd sarcastic: "Yeah thanks ROBOCOP".
Funny thing Boards been wanting to say something but he's been given the order for silent mode so I guess that's going to have to wait for another day. Rhyd arrives at work and seems like he's on a split shift cos. everyone else is already there. And this place is a hub of activity. What we notice though is that the Studio's changed from the normal studio of the year 2000, this things totally electrophied. I 'll explain that later. So Rhyd's through the door board in hand now,
Rhyd: "wat'z uuuuu"
There's four guys, two girls and this completely punked out dog sitting in the foyer, they all seem to be focusing on something.
Studio: "Get your ass in here, there's work to be done and keep it quite Pussy's up."
Rhyd shuts up and we realize what everybody's into as we hear PlastiK Pussy's voice booming out on the inhouse speakers.
PlastiK Pussy: "Your on the rise when your banging
it out bitch style, so hang out and suck with Pussy, she'll give you lesions and
contusions on your chest, on your breast, on your face, do her nails then chain
your waist. And when you pick yourself up of the floor she'll be back in your
face, saying "do you want more". She'll lay you down, when you send in your
sound, so for all you new get up and goers and new year blowers, get the streets
dusted, pick up and busted, and check out the
sound that comes to your town when this band goes down on the dial at --------- Club this week with ...........
Studio Boss's got a ripper of a smile on his face
Boss: "That woman always puts me in the mood"
Rhyd goes to the counter and picks up his key looks around and hopes that he's doing one of those cheeky babes first. Goes up to the cutest one and starts turning on the Mr. Innocent routine.
Rhyd: "So ladies how can I help you today".
Two Chicks (They look like Hogs): "Well for a start were Dykes so you wont be touching us but you can do our dog".
Boss steps in when he hears this cos he's has secret fantasies about Lesbie Chicks.
Boss: "Look after that guy"
Rhyd: "Follow me"
Now interestingly enough, Studios in Steel City have been given a major overall with a totally babacious woman on the front desk that treats people like royalty. Part of the service and included in the charge of the Tattoo is a freshly squeezed fruit or vegetable juice. Also while they wait or are having the Tattoo it can be kind of boring just sitting there for an hour or whatever so for an extra charge another babacious woman gives them a leg and foot massage (Yeah, Yeah), but this is a movie right so there standing around in those cute sexy getups that you get in LA. And that makes it more enjoyable for the guy whose doing the tattoo and the guy in the chair cos. we all know about attitude in LA right. Problem is Rhyd's customer hasn't got the extra cash so no sexy ladies for him. Rhyd asks him to follow and we see that each tattoo artist has there own cubical area with a door, this is too stop distractions because alot of work happens in this Studio. Besides that Rhyd needs to be in a cubical because if not everyone would basically have a hernia when they see what happens next and remember he's still got a lot on his mind. His cubical is placed next to the back door exit. He enters , puts the board down and his customer takes a seat. Now Rhyd's thinking this guys real mean looking and it doesn't take long for the guy to establish whose the boss.
The Tattoo Guy: "Fuck this up and you'll be looking for someone to buy you a new set of dentures for Christmas"
Rhyds thinking give a shit but says
Rhyd: "Sure pal just tell me what you want"
The Tattoo Guy :"I want an imprint of a steam iron"
Rhyd: "Thats a bit weird pal , why you want that"
TG: "So I can remind myself of how much it fucking hurts each time I scalded myself. And I'll have some barbed wire to."
Rhyd: "Ah you want a Pammy job do you?"
TG: "Yeah around my forehead"
Rhyd: "Yeah and why's that?"
TG: "Because my wife is fucking crucifying me and I want her to know how Jesus felt each time she looks at me."
So we can see this guys a bad ass but he sure has a good sense of humor, Rhyd has a chuckle and starts loading up his gun. He sits down and starts work. Funny though as he doing it he starts getting these strange sensations through his body. They start sending shivers up his spine (in the background we see board quivering wonder if what his feelings related to the board) and shit, look, he's gone and done it again . Opps slipped with the gun and the Tattoo Guy realizes it. He looks kind of surprised and pretty angry at Rhyd.
TG: "What the hell you think your doing."
Well Rhyd's not really thinking about this guy too much because he's suffering his own kind of pain. He stands up his body starts doing all this weird convulsions. TG well his freaking out abit by now TG: "What the fuck is the matter with you", throws his chair to the side.
Rhyd well he's got white foam forming at the sides of his mouth and turns around to face the guy. Well what do you think happens next. I'll tell you Rhyd has just entered his second stage of metamorphosis. This shit happens really fast but he grasp the paint tubes and opens his mouth which has just turned into a mini fang fest. He bites down on the tubes and we see the colors get sucked up into his teeth. The tattoo guys decided he's not wanting to hang around for what's coming next and makes for the door. Not fast enough though because swish, swish, woop Rhyds Rib cage has split open and hes' just developed another six set of legs and arms giving him eight of course, kind of like huntsman, tarantulas or a Funnel Webs. He pulls TG towards him and and his mouth opens to inflict the first wound which is obviously some kind of anesthetic cos the guy passes out in his arms next thing we see his mighty mandibles going to work and a few seconds later this guys got his tattoos. (No he's not munching out on his work). He drops the guy back in his seat and hey presto all his hairy extensions disappear back into his body. A few seconds later TG wakes up and looks at his arm. He seems to have forgotten everything.
TG: "Kid you must have some kind of magic in those hand's art without pain, I'll be back again". They both stand up and head to the counter. Boss looks up
Studio: "Your not happy with that guy?"
TG: "Hey pal, I got what I wanted".
Pays and leaves. Boss looks at Rhyd
Studio: "What you trying to do get out off work early or something?"
Rhyd: "Well you know, I'm not feeling that well really".
Studio"Then go to the Doctor and get fixed up, you work like that I cant afford not to have you on the team".
Rhyd: "Yeah I'll do that "
And whats he thinking yeah there's one Doctor I need to visit, and we all know who that is. He goes and gets Board and its back on the Skate Tracks.
Rhyd maybe on the Skate Tracks but its time for us to check in on our two maggoty friends, now after munching out and missing their spider surprise we see them crawling of into the distance and seems like they've found the drain tunnel exit from the bath, in they squeeze and swish down the tube and splash, they hit the sewerage system, talk about a bacterium banquet. Gobble, gobble, gobble, these things are growing faster than the Christmas Turkeys on pappa's farm. Interestingly enough when they travel, they travel side by side or one behind the other with a distance between them. . We can distinguish their mouths now because there so big, its like looking down a snakes gullet but there's no teeth, just this yellowee pussy stuff around the outside of their mouths. Alot of rats down here to and whats that, seems like our maggots have gone carnivorous on us because I don't see that rat going anyway fast. Wonder how big these things are going to get, could be the size of an alligator maybe bigger, and I wonder if their going to leave behind any remains next sewerage cleaner they come across, or maybe it might be a drunken hobo sleeping out in the tunnel either way they could be the next scientific breakthrough in effluent breakdown problems, sure would beat all the chemicals that get flushed down the toilet in to the ocean.
So while the maggots are going through their first stage of growth development, Rhyd's let board hit the ground and his traversing those skate lanes like tomorrow's not going to happen. He feels a jolt shock go up his leg that almost brings him to his knees,
Rhyd: "Oh God not again", fearing the worst.
Board: "Attentive device activated, request to jam frequencies"
Rhyd: "What are you talking about?"
Board: "Sensory devices detect Robots, activation will jam frequencies avoiding potential Identie Check".
Not wanting and hassles,
Rhyd: "Do It"
Board: "Carried out"
We see Rhyd get past the two Robots up ahead without questioning, its best to avoid these machines at all times.
Rhyd: "Why didn't you do that last time"
Board: "You commanded Silent Mode, I must comply with instructions"
Rhyd: "Yeah well the instructions are next time you have some advice that's going to keep me out of Trouble, give it".
Rhyd: "The Lab, Its time I work out just what the hell is happening to me, and if there's a way to stop it. I'm sure that Doctor's got a few answers hidden away in that back room. Otherwise you and your outerplanetary buddie have some explaining to do".
Board: "Your though processing seems confused, for most direct route, take short pass through mall".
So Rhyd does a quick right and he gets an opportunity to put the board to the test, lots of shoppers to dodge in the Mall, waterfountains, bike rails and a flight of steps. Then its down the street and we see The Lab in the distance. Wonder if anyone gets sliced and diced by his action.
Rhyd approaches Doctor Sickles door and stops, seems like theirs an argument going on inside, wonder who it is and whats going on? Rhyd moves to a place where he can better hear and see whats going on. Of course there's a window he can peer through and a couple of nice rose bushes to compliment the garden and make his eye spy with my little eye trip just that little bit better, hope he don't get scratched by those things. But of course why he's trying to get the best advantage point he does. Looks down and says,
We see a fairly deep cut on his leg, still not having a good time is he.
Kies- "Listen hear Doc, I didn't leave no blood on the van door so we've either got a mistake you need to say sorry for",
pointing and shaking his gun at the Doc's face,
Kies :"or you need to find yourself a new blood bank".
Dr. Sickle's who's not wanting to lose one of the most important component to his experimentation is keen to calm the nerves of the two brothers.
Fies - "Yeah a new blood bank", straps himself over the shoulder with one of those things that's got a few pieces of leather strappings.
Kies yells - "Shut the fuck up"
Fies- "What do you want to be speaking to me like that for, he's the one we got the problem with". Kies - "Shut up", hits his brother.
Dr. Sickle- "Gentlemen, gentlemen, I was merely pointing out an observation, if your correct then perhaps it is time to tighten up on security procedures.
Kie's- "You do that, Doc".
Fie's- "So what you doing with that blood anyway"
Dr. Sickle - "Gentleman I'm so pleased you asked, it really is a breakthrough in the genetic evolution of the human subspecies".
Kies- "Yeah and what the fuck do you mean by that"
Dr. Sickle - "Well for some time now I have wondered at the potential of cross fertilization of the human generation with the unlimitedness of cellular life on this planet. I'll show you the accomplishments of my tests so far. Stand by the door please".
Fies- "What doors he talking about".
Dr. Sickle- "Ohh sorry, by the desk over there".
Dr. Sickle points to the desk and goes to his boiler and raises the temperature on the burner, as usual the steam rises hits the pressure pad and and swish the door opens.
Kies- "Hey that's pretty nifty Doc, maybe we should get one of these for the Slaughter house".
They peer around the corner of the door
Dr. Sickle- "Please go in."
Dr. Sickle moves towards them and stands by the entrance of the door.
Dr. Sickle- "So what do you think of my lovelies".
Fies and Kies turn around to face the Doc
Kies- "What the fuck are you talking about Doc".
Well in the wink of an eye its all it takes, and remember, you never turn your back on the enemy, we and Rhyd hear some kind of sloshing sound and the two brothers turn around to see what that noise is. Well of course we only get to see the faces of Fies and Kies and their vision is Terror. Rhyd hear's a muffled scream and squish squelch, see's a spray of blood splatters over the Doc's face.
Dr. Sickle: "Hungry my pets".
Well, thats all pretty interesting but in the meantime Rhyd hasn't really been watching that cut he's got on his leg too carefully nor whats taken an interest in his legs. Happy little marching ants which have been making their way up his leg the whole time he's been engaged in watching Dr Sickle and his sinister ways. Well know we have a convergence of two mishaps at the same time and whats happen to Rhyd , well we see an ant fest around his bloodied leg and wow this is the most amazing thing I've seen I'm my life, it appears as if a couple of the ants have managed to eat into his cut and have somehow disappeared under the skin. Well this sudden pain in his leg brings him back to his senses along with the shock of seeing the splattered blood, he falls back from the window.
Rhyd: "Jeeeezuss" and slapping at his legs.
He makes enough noise to get Dr. Sickles attention who goes to the window and peers out of course he cant see anything because Rhyds crouched underneath it as best he can. Dr. Sickle turns around and walks away chuffing.
Dr. Sickle: "Didn't those idiots think that with my powerful laboratory equipment I wouldn't discover that they were contaminating the blood with growth hormones. None the less it has led to my most important contribution to society thus far".
Rhyd gets up and gives directions :
Rhyd: "Board Home"
Rhyd gets his standard deviation tour by board and ends up home safe and sound with alot of shit going through his head. Enters the apartment yard and there's J-String, she looks down at his leg.
J-String - "Been cutting loose again"
Rhyd - "When ever I can", starts to walk past J.
J-String - "Yeah well it still looks like you cut more pavement than board".
Rhyd- "Yeah, well you cut more mouth than you do action".
J- String's - "Is that right"?,Well if you've got that much action, I guess you wont say no to a gig we've got on tonight".
Rhyd realizing he's put his foot in it, but obviously cant back down from a challenge.
Rhyd: "Sure as long as its freestyle"
J-String:"You just joined the guest list"
Rhyd: "So you got any Protec"
J-String :"Sure have, don't you carry"
Rhyd: "Haven't been able to afford it yet"
J-String : "Well I guess that means we rock up together, if you think you can handle it".
Rhyd: "Don't know a situation yet that I haven't handled".
Said with a grin on his face, cocky son of a gun ain't he.
J-String - "Yeah, well there might be one there that you don't know how to handle".
Meeting the challenge in her own way.
J-String- "So be at my pad, we hit the streets at 11:30.
Each go there separate ways. Rhyd enters his apartment and gets some disinfectant for his leg. Board gets thrown on the couch. And then Rhyd visits his two dead friends that have reached freezing point. Studies them and puts them back in the freezer, decides to nap out before the gig, his in for a big night.
So were back in the tunnels and the maggot monsters are heading downtown, funny thing these guys are getting so huge that their starting to have trouble moving through the tunnels. This is a bit of a funny scene but we see this fatty grandma and grandpa that are getting ready for bed she's putting some type of yogurt and cucumber dip on her face and pape's in bed. Its a loose floor boarded house and as the maggots pass under the house the floor boards move under her feet . Eye's nearly popping out her head.
Gran: "Pape, pape did you feel that."
Pape: "Feel what"
Gran: "I think it was a tremor".
Pape: "Your just imagining things, probably a car on the overpass".
Gran: "There it is again, I think there's something under the house".
Pape: "What, you want me to check it out?"
Gran: " I'll get the torch"
Pape : mumbles to himself "Bloody woman".
So he goes outside in his blue checker PJ's of course his got to get down on his hands and knees in the mud to get under the house and its a bit of a squeeze but he wriggles under, he hears the noise near the bathroom floor and crawls towards the toilet, meanwhile grannies upstairs and she's just dropping a load , and we hear that go plopping past his ear drum. Ugh make's your tummy turn.
Pape: "Yeah great couldn't even wait until I got back".
Meanwhile of course the tensions been building cos. we know whats under there, and the music sure sounds like something going to happen. Pape heads for the grill and we see the Earth start to crumble and split up a head and its heading right this way.
Pape: "Shit (no not the one she just had) Earth tremor".
Well of course his backing out the way he came in fast as he can, but its not fast enough and the inevitable overload on hamburgers got the guy stuck - call him Jammed. So we think he's going to get it cos the ground's now splitting , but it looks like he got lucky. The Maggots dive by underneath him squishing him up into the floor boards. He's almost had a heart attack with fear.
Pape: "What the hell was that". Starts to squeeze between the boards and races inside and calls the Police.
Gran: "What's the matter with you"
Pape: "We got something under the house"
Gran: "What do you mean, we got something under the house".
Pape: "Just what I said, there's something under the house"
Calls 911 and asks the Police to come over right away. Of course they turn up and we go through the procedure. They get under the house and check the around, the tunnel caves in under their weight and one of our unsuspecting officers falls into the worm hole they've left behind.
Fred: "We've got some weird shit going on down here get your butt down here right away".
Back to Rhyd and his nap. Antenna senses indicate brain pattern has reached deep sleep where dream sequences occur, sends out signal. We see Rhyd begin to slip into the superconscious state, but... Big Bang on the door.
J-String- "Kick ass Rhyd, its time to check out" Rhyd wakes up, opens the door to let J in, bit groggie still. Stumbles around a bit.
Rhyd- "Get your head checked, I don't think its going to start without you. Food before famine".
J takes a seat and picks up the board box, while Rhyd exists for the kitchen.
J- "What's this, the new dimension in Rubiks cube" Rhyd looks around the corner cos. he's got no idea what she's on about,
Rhyd- "Naa its my new board and the policy is Strictly Hands Off, its dangerous"
J- "Yeah, well one look at you's enough to confirm that".
She puts it down, but you can tell its got her attention. Rhyd pull's up around the corner and his hunting for his food. And when I say hunting I mean hunting, his going frantic through his cupboards and his just not getting satisfaction from what he's seeing , he's acting kind of weird, picking up packets of cereal and tipping them out on the floor and his eyes are darting around everywhere. Ohh no we got weird shit again, Rhyd spies a Cockroach out the corner of his eye and its making a beeline for under the refrigerator , he takes a dive for it and Munch Out Time, well of course this is completely repulsive to watch but Rhyd's Spider mandibles just popped up, looks like his had a change of diet. The teeth disappear and Rhyd is left standing with the realization of what his just done. J looks round the corner cos he's been kind of noisy in there.
J- "Hey, if you need some bowls for the cereal, I've got a couple spare".
Rhyd thinks up a lame excuse:
Rhyd: "Naa, I just get agro, when the cereal goes stale, lets get out of here".
Grabs his board. So they head out the door, it's nightfall. They walk to the club. We sense some nervousness in Rhyd.
Rhyd:"So you got Protec."
There not far past the door. J-String digs into her pocket and pulls out another weird piece of hitech newage equipment designed for survival in Steel City.
J-String: "Armed and ready, stand close."
J-Sting ignites her Protec and no its not a gun, but a forcefield. Kind of like a luminous Box that surrounds them both. They start walking and the shield moves with them. So why do they need Protec, well in this city if you want to go out after nightfall you've got to have it. At night the crazies, queers, lost spirits and night ghouls hit the street and they are going to take you if they can, living in the city ain't no easy place to be as future times move on. Someone's always looking to score another chance or a better life. Rhyd's drops his board and starts scooting ahead.
J-Sting: "You move faster than the shield your going to get burnt" Drops his pace.
Rhyd: "So where you playing anyway?"
J-String: "The Band Room"
Rhyd: "About time I checked out that place".
J-String smiles to herself.
Rhyd: "What you smiling for?".
Well you can tell this is the bit where our two friends are going to get a bit intimate, so you can either go turn the channel and come back latter or explore their friendship.
J-String: "You, you make me smile" Rhyds thinking this girls a cookie.
Rhyd: "Yeah, well you need a head re-adjustment, smile is not apart of my vocabulary".
J-String starts to smile,
J-String: "You see what you do to me"
Well either we've got a jealous board here or somethings up. Cos. Rhyd yells out in pain, the jolt up the leg treatment , such a cool way for getting out of sharing feelings. Obviously its board sensory unit kicking in again, funny thing is J got her protect so we got a double whammy situation going on here. J-String jumps back in fright
Well there under attack and one of the night ghoulies is after their pound of flesh, and that's why you need Protec in this place. This creature is REALLY UGLY, looks like somebody did and experiment and forgot to turn back the key. A real Misfit. Well Protec handles this situation and we see our Ghoul friend zapped and fried and heading off in a different direction. Rhyd and J pick up their speed and arrive at "The Band Room", unscathed.
Well of course there's a line up but bando's always go first so J-String and Rhyd head to the top of the queue. Of course there's a security check and the Guard asks for Identi Cards.
Security: "Identi Card"
Both stand as there card passes through the check. We hear a strange beeping on Rhyd's card.
Security: "No go pal, income falls below the required minimum for entrance into The Band Room".
J-String: "He's my guest ".
Security: "I'll have to clear it"
Goes through the procedure.
Rhyd's"What a bunch of shit".
J-String: "Just play it cool"
Security: "Checked, but you'll have to leave the Board at front of house".
Their let in and Rhyd does as requested.
Obviously the clubs packed out, and we've got a bunch of the weirdest and wackiest that Steel Cities got to offer. There's a band playing.
J-String: "I got to get outback to join the band,
so I'm cutting loose."
Rhyd: "Yeah, well I'm up for cutting some action my own style, check out your style when you bust those tunes".
He's moving through the crowd straight for the toilet, of course if you want to score, its always the first place to check out. Get's to the toilet and makes base with the drug pusher.
Druggie: "You looking to score?"
Rhyd: "Well that depend's on what your selling"
Druggie: "Hey man you got the taste, I got the pill's to chill those ills, I got red's, blue's, upper's, downer's, paste, powder, better than your mum's chowder, I got the coke, I got the smoke and I got the FREEZE that'll bring you to your knees."
Rhyd: "You sound like a walking Chem Lab".
Druggie: "I got my connections".
Rhyd: "I'll take a tube of Freeze".
Druggie: "$20.00 is going to chill you to the bone".
Rhyd hands over his money and takes the tube.
Rhyd: "Your friend's wouldn't be interested in doing a little overtime ?"
Druggie: "What kind of overtime you talking?"
Rhyd: "I've got a couple of friends back in my fridge that need checking out, there microbiological"
Druggie: "Well you give me a number and I'll see what I can work out for you".
Rhyd exchanges his number, the druggie pushes off, get it, pushes off and Rhyd heads for the toilet".
We see Rhyd take out his tube of FREEZE which is like a glass tube with a fluorescent white
mixture in it. He cracks the tube and drinks the FREEZE. So what does FREEZE do, well
basically it slows down time, it works on the principle of FREEZING, it slows down your heartbeat, your
blood, your mind , everything moves in slow motion, words seem to collide in a haze of jumble. Its like you can feel every heart beat pushing through your veins, life just seems to stand still for that
moment in time, no connection, no reality of what goes on around you, just the slowing down of your mind and body.
Rhyd, stumbles out the toilet back into the Band Room, there's alot of noise and movement on the Stage, everythings going Pink and then Pussy Hits the Stage shes the special guest everyone cheers,
PlastiK Pussy: "You got the Pussy in your face,
giving you the taste, of sound that's playing down, when noise goes underground.
Pussy makes you wild, she's your bad girl style, she does it in your face, got
you licking up her waist, she won't let you waste when she comes in your face,
cos. that's not her style, born to make you wild, driving it on time, music is
her rhyme, So better find some joy , playing with your toy, cos. thats her
greatest pleasure, giving you good leisure, no need for masturbation, love is
her frustration, when your touching base, she needs no hesitation, take it from
the back, got the seat on the leather, gives you 69 when you say it is for ever,
so when you got the
time, I'm going to make you mine, Pussy is the face and this here is the place.
(Well if that doesn't want to make you do it I might as well go blow a balloon)
So while all this has been going on Rhyd's been stumbling towards Pussy and she's had her eye on him while on stage, she throws down the mic and goes for her pick up for the evening and Rhyd's her master plan.
Pussy reaches Rhyd who is still having a hard time seeing anything at the
moment. He's swaying from side to side , trying to focus on anything that
Pussy: "Pussy likes your style, meow"
Rhyd: "Yeah, well I've got a thing about cats".
Pussy: "Well this Pussy's purring".
Rhyd: "Last Pussy I had got fur over my face, furniture and clothes, I nearly choked on one of its hairs".
Pussy: "Well this Pussy's a short hair and she don't molt".
Rhyd: "Sound's like your stray cat, looking for some Milk".
Pussy: "Now you got me purring".
Rhyd: "So you want some petting at home pussy"
So Rhyd and Pussy exit the club, Rhyd picks up his board, but not before we get to see J-String and her band hit the stage. Of course she see's Rhyd leaving with the Pussy, you can imagine how she feels, we she her do some full bad chick attitude on the guitar.
Pussy and Rhyd jump a cab and its off to his apartment.
Now its back to Mama's and Papa's, to work out just what did pass under the house.
Fred and his pal pull out some maps.
Fred: "You got anything marked in sewerage, under this house".
Fred: "Well then how about you trying to explain this to me"
Harry: "You know Sarge, I got no idea, maybe it's an underground cave, or a really big Ground Hog".
Fred: "Well boy, you go get the torches and my gun cos. were gonna catch ourselves some dinner".
Flicks to our Maggoty friends that are coursing their way under the Earth. They find themselves heading into another tunnel in the Septic System. But where are they actually going, I think there feeling VERY hungry. So there still squishing through the shit and I think they just found a subway tunnel, wonder if there's any late night passengers waiting on the platform. Well of course there is and as we all know curiosity always kills the cat and this one's sitting on his eight ball so guess his times up. He hears a strange sound emanating from the tunnel and goes to have a closer look , of course he thinks its the train. How does fall victim of the Munching Maggots, well of course he stands to close to the edge of the platform and our maggoty friends are a rumbling size, so opps the
platform quivers and our curio slips, hmmm a human fish finger said with a touch of Larson.
Back to Rhyd whose lured Pussy into his bedroom. And these two are about to
get it on. Pussy well she's a control freak, Rhyd's blood's started to boil so I
guess the FREEZE has worn out. When Pussy's in control she likes it on her
knees, she like to make you pleased.
Pussy: "So Rhyd what's your favorite pleasure"
Rhyd : "They call me Rhyd and that's the way I like to do it".
Pussy: "You like it on top, well then come find the Pussy".
The X-rated scenes been edited to be released one day.
Phone: "Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring"
Rhyd: "Whose busting in on my time?"
Druggie: "Hey man, your the one that wants the favor, I'm the man who gives you the flavor".
Rhyd immediately recognizes it as the druggie.
Rhyd: "So what's cooking for me?".
Druggie: "Not much my buddies ain't interested, not in their line a work"
Rhyd: "Yeah well you don't know if you don't ask"
Hangs up the phone.
Meanwhile Pussy's fallen asleep, guess whatever they got up to was
exhausting. Rhyd thinks about nodding off himself but he notices The Manual and
decides its time for a read. Funny thing is that the manual only lists by
numbers functions of the board. He looks down the list and comes
Diagnostic Kit that gets him thinking.
Rhyd :: "Board open"
Board whose been fairly quiet lately, is happy to respond.
Rhyd: "What's with the Diagnostic Kit".
Board: "Ahh, one of my most resource consumptive task functions, it is useful for diagnosis of foreign materials, organic and inorganic".
Rhyd: "So what does that mean".
Board: "Well I can give you the chemical composition, of gaseous exchanges, I can interpret the synthesis of materials placed in the diagnostics tray , I can...
Rhyd: "Shut up a minute, so whatever I place on that tray, you can tell me what ever I need to know about it".
Board: "That is correct".
Rhyd rushes of to the freezer and brings back the two dead maggots.
Rhyd: "Okay, diagnose this"
Board kicks into action and a tray appears, Rhyd places the two maggots on it.
"Blow Fly Maggot
Diptera: Calliphoridae, several species.
Size : 3/8 to 3/4 inch (9.5-19.1mm)
Larvae are soft, worm-like, pale-colored insects. Found in decaying animals blow flies are attracted to it for egg laying. The maggots complete development in the decaying flesh, then seek a dry
place to pupate. Fly maggots have the habit of wandering a distance before selecting a place to pupate. Tough-bodied larvae are usually not affected by insecticides sprayed directly on them
(Information correlated from a variety of websites including the University of California Web Site).
Rhyd: "Yeah, Yeah, but how did I get them in me.
Board: "Cross examination of maggot's blood genetics, shows that pupa were ingested into the body by a cross contamination of blood types.
Rhyd: "The blood at the Slaughter House, so what are you telling me, I'm going to to Metamorphose into a Maggot".
Board : "I cannot be sure of morphological changes without further tests on living samples, there does however appear to be an abnormality".
Rhyd :"And what's that? "
Board: "Their unusually large and I would suggest this is due to a growth hormone present."
Rhyd : "Great I'm going to turn into an oversized maggot. So what about the two that got away?"
Board: "I would suggest that there looking for a place to pupate, and breed".
Rhyd: "You mean there's going to more of these things?"
Board: "These two are both female, so there's the possibility that the remaining two are capable of copulation, given that there is one male and one female."
Rhyd: "So is there away of stopping the shit that's going on inside of me".
Board: "I would suggest that with a sample of living tissue from the escapades I could re-synthesize the matter so that an obstructive pathway process could be put in place to inhibit any abnormal cellular development".
Rhyd: "Great so your telling me I have to find these things"
Board: "Well there is a good side to it all"
Rhyd: "Yeah and whats that."
Board: "Current scientific experimentation shows that maggots are being utilized in the cure of cancer so I guess your not going to die of that"
Were bought back to action by a loud knocking at the door. Board goes into silent mode and Rhyd gets up to answer the door, the knocking is getting louder.
Rhyd: "Alright, alright, who do you think I am,
Opens the door and we have one hot mustard chick here and she looks like she's about to light Rhyd's face with the breath of fire.
J-String: "What's the idea cutting out on me before we gigged".
Well obviously Rhyd's got some fast talking to do here, cos. this is still one score he hasn't laid.
Rhyd: "Look, I ended up going down to a bad FREEZE Trip and I needed some space. That place was vibeing too fast for me".
Well that place may have been moving to fast for him but so his mouth at the moment and somethings about to put the reigns on him. We hear some fumbling from the bedroom, seems like the knocking woke our feline friend. Pussy comes stumbling out obviously in a hurry.
J-String: "Yeah well it looks like you went down on more than a Freeze Trip, and someones made a meal of you".
Checking out his body, looks like he did five rounds with a tiger. Obviously pissed off.
Plastic Pussy: "This pussy's got to stray, my times due in the box, so make sure you got your dial tuned to wild cos. that the way we turn it out and put'em down, and J you better learn how to pat the pussy, cos. she got the habit of scratching anything that's not mak'en it happen.
Exit Pussy. J gives Rhyd one hell of a nasty look and somehow the door gets slammed
in Rhyd's face.
As the door slams in Rhyd's face we have the door of the Police car opening, Harry reaches in and gets the torches and gun. Their tunnel search begins.
Harry: "You know Sarge this
looks kind of dangerous, these wall's don't look to secure"
Fred: "Just shut that trap of yours and follow me, I've got my nose to the ground and I can already smell the steaks cooking".
Harry: "Don't you think we should call in and get some backup".
Fred: "Yeah and what are we going to tell them, were tracking a giant hog, first thing they'll do is put us in checkup for blood testing, and if they get a whiff of any of the THC in your blood pal, your off the force".
Well as usual the threat of punishment and loss of social status can always change a mans colors so Harry agrees and they move along.
Fred: "You know we may crack the big one with this, could be some underground drug network channel"
Harry: "Yeah and it could be a cavein caused by a tremor"
Fred: "Nah, this is bigger than that, these tunnels are two symmetrical"
Well pal you should always trust your pard'ner. Cos. next we got ourselves a situation, and its called Cave In. Seems Harry was right, we hear the Earth rumble, those houses sitting on top, seems there
weight's just a little too heavy for the newly formed tunnel, so we get a glimpse of panic all over their faces and a bit of scrambling
as they make another dash for the entrance, they emerge a little dirty,a little out of breath and it cuts to Fred's radio blearing.
Radio: "Officer Lefkoitz, report in for
Fred: "Officer Lefkoitz, reporting in"
Radio: "What's the status on the disturbance"
Fred: "Looks like a minor tremor, no major panic"
Harry's in the back making some strange faces, like what are you telling them that for.
Radio: "Well get your butts out of there, your needed at The Slaughter House, seems like we got a couple of missing persons".
Well seeing as Rhyd's been such an action Jackson its about time he got him self some slumber. After having the door slammed in his face its time for him to think through some of his problems. Like how the hell is he going to find the maggots to get tissue samples, he's still got way to many things going on in his body that ain't quite human, and what part does Dr. Sickle play in the whole thing, besides that what's he breeding in that lab of his and of course there's Forbes.
We see Rhyd look surprised walk away from the door and crash out on the
couch. Mind occupied by what's up above. Falls into slumber mode and boards
doing it's vibratory signaling.
Looks like Rhyd's about to connect to the Celestial Being, King of all Beings, the Supreme one and no I'm not talking pizza.
Rhyd: "Well I had to know you'd show up sooner or
later, I'm in a lot of trouble and its all your fault."
KB: "Seek not to find the one to blame, but the answer to resolve the questions of your mind".
Rhyd: "Look I bought a board to ride, not an invitation to become Inspector Mutant Insect."
KB: "Your purpose as directed by the creator spirits manifests in your body as we speak, I continue to be only of assistance to guide you in reaching your purpose.
Rhyd: "Well what is my purpose?"
KB: "You are a lifeforce a co-creator of universal existence, you have moved beyond the evolutionary patterns of human life as it exists. Your body has become a part of a divergence created for survival in the planetary code, you must forfeit your human endeavor and serve your new
Rhyd: "But what is this purpose? and why must I be the one?
KB "These questions I cannot answer, only through the passage of the time corridors will these answers reveal themselves to you, it is time for you to travel back to the Earthly plane.
So Rhyd obviously gets woken up by his crash landing to Earth, we see him sit up and he looks at his leg, he can feel something crawling over it, we see him brush at his leg and he doesn't realize it but a few ants fall to the floor and go marching happily along their way, I wonder where they came from. He goes out into the kitchen to get something to eat and notices the ants on the floor, gathered around the food frenzie he left from the night before, he sweeps them up and puts them in the bin.
Now this is the interesting bit, we've just seen the ants put into the bin,
see them falling in slow motion
to the next scene, as a tyre drive over a line of marching ants, hear a car door open and see the
polished shoes walk on a few ant's which become the legs of Fred and Harry.
They walk up to the Slaughter house Door and knock. This introduces a new character. The Owner of the Slaughter House
Harry: "This place smells rank"
Owner appears on hearing knocking, opens door. Harry and Fred step back and cover their mouths and noses.
as the smell of decaying meat is released.
Owner: "What took you guy's so long you think I got all day". Angry.
Fred: "Listen here, take it easy or I'll have you reported to the Pollution Control Board for causing offence to the air that I'm breathing "So what seems to be the problem?"
Owner Angry again: "Those two fat lazy assholes, that run the business, they've gone and done a disappearing act on me, I've called them at their home and no one knows where the hell they are. Now I've got over $300,000 dollars worth of orders that I cant fill cos. the meats gone bad.
Fred: "Well I'm not sure how we can help you"
Owner: "What the hell, what'd they put an uniform on you assholes for anyway, I want those fish sucking floppsters bought back here, hung from the ceiling by my biggest dangler, scaled, weighed and cut in cutlets to fill those order I just lost, you understand me boy.
Harry: "What were trying to tell you is that they haven't committed a crime, now if you think or suspect some sort of foul play, kidnapping, we can take a report."
Owner: "I'll give you a foul play up your ass, if I find them myself I'll put them on the Missing list.
This guys kind of uncontrollable but he hasn't committed a crime so the cops have to put up with it, Suckers.
Fred: "Now we don't have all day either, so do you want to make a report?"
Owner: "You bet your badge on it, you find them, you bring them back to me and I'll sue the pant's off them".
Harry starts taking down detail's, now interestingly enough as this all happens, they hear a noise as a van pulls into the Slaughter House drive way. Everyone looks and surprise, surprise, its Dr. Sickle.
Well of course he wasn't expecting to see the Police here, but now that the vans been tagged he can't do a runner. Of course he has to think fast. This is what happens.
Owner: "Now who the hell is this?"
Dr. Sickle gets out the van and approaches the gathering. Fred and Harry look on.
Fred: "Can we help you?"
Dr. Sickle: "Gentlemen, I'm here to see the brothers, there's no harm in that is there".
Owner: "Well their root'in toot'in gone."
Fred: "Do you have business with them?"
Well of course the good Doctor doesn't want to lose his supply of blood so he comes clean.
Dr. Sickle: "Well yes, they supply me with repacked blood for my experiments at the hospital"
Owner: "What the hell are you talking about boy, I don't have no contracts to supply blood to nobody in this town".
Fred is now starting to get a little bit suspicious of the good Dr.
Fred: "And exactly what kind of experiments are you conducting at the hospital."
Dr. Sickle: "Well I'd be happy to show you my work, it involves reproducing cellular material for the purpose of regeneration and regrowth of damaged tissue in living organisms. The two brothers have
been supplying me for sometime now, I really don't see the problem."
Owner: "I'll tell you the problem, those assholes have been cutting me out of a deal on my own time, that's the problem".
Dr. Sickle: "They call me Dr. Sickle"
Fred: "Dr. Sickle, do you mind telling me the last time you saw the two brothers".
Dr. Sickle: "Why , it would have been two day's past".
Fred: "Do you mind if we take a visit to the hospital and take a look at your work Doctor Sickle"
Dr. Sickle: "Certainly gentleman, please follow me"
He turns to the owner,
Dr. Sickle: "I do hope that I can keep the business proposition going with you, I pay considerably well".
Owner: "Well I don't see no problem with that as long as I don't go out of business with what those two damn brothers gone and done too me."
Turns around and goes back into the Slaughter house mumbling and grumbling . Dr. Sickle head's to his van and Fred and Harry go to hop in their police car. Harry stops for a moment.
Harry: "Did you feel that?"
Fred: "Feel what"
Harry: " I thought it was a tremor"
Fred's door swings shut and swings to Rhyd opening the door of his apartment
to the sound of J- String knocking.
Rhyd: "Hey J , time to play or are you still holding out on me?"
J-String: "Well it depends on what I've got to play with"
Rhyd: "Me of course"
J-String: " I think I'd rather play with my mother"
Rhyd: "Well, I guess you should give her a call and ask her over, phone's over there"
J-String: "ahh Mr. Wise Ass, I'm surprise your still standing the amount of times your daddies given it too you".
Rhyd: "So what you want anyway"
J-String: "Well, I was thinking about last night and I thought we were getting somewhere and then you cut out on me"
Rhyd: "Hey look, I like you but I don't think I'm your style, I like the fast pace, the action and plenty of it, you take me as the kind of girl that need's a steady relationship and I cant offer you that"
J-String: "Well it would be nice if you'd give it a chance"
Rhyd: "Look, I got a lot of bad shit happening to me at the moment and I just don't think it would work"
Well you can see J-'s got a tear welling in her eye.
J-String: "So do I, the band may be splitting up, just when we were starting to get somewhere, we just got our first album out "
Rhyd can see she's upset.
Rhyd: "Yeah that's almost as bad as my shit, but its kind of more complicated than that, and I can't explain it , just weird things are happening to me"
J-String: "Like what?"
Rhyd: " I see things that aren't there"
J-String: "What do you mean?"
Rhyd: "Well like the guy I bought the Board from, I don't think his human and I've got this weird shit happening in my body "
J-String: "Rhyd, I think you should cut out the FREEZE trips its affecting your brain"
Rhyd: "There you see you don't believe me, Look I've got to get out out of here, there's only one way for me to get things back to normal"
J-String: "Well how's that?"
Rhyd :"If I told you that I needed to find two maggots so that my board could synthesize their DNA to stop me from turning into an oversized maggot would you believe me"
J-String : "No"
Rhyd: "Exactly, so lets just quite it, I got to go"
Picks up board to adios.
J-String: "Okay well if you want me to believe you,
let me go with you and I can check it out myself".
Rhyd: "No, its way to dangerous, just forget what I told you"
Getting pissed off
J-String: "Fine, but you can't stop me "
Rhyd: "Look, I've told you, I don't want you involved in this, you could get hurt, just stay put, go play a song or something".
They both leave the apartment Rhyd takes off on the Board and J-String pretends to go back to her apartment once she walks in the door we see her head pop out again after Rhyd takes off. We see her then head off towards The Shop where Rhyd bought the board from. She leaves a note on the door, Gone to the Board Shop.
J-String: "There's only one way to work out if Rhyd's completely left the planets, a bit of undercover work down at the Board Shop should do it".
We go to the scene with Fred and Harry who have just started following Dr. Sickle to the hospital. There talking aimlessly.
Fred: "This guy's feels more suspicious than Santa leaving the bank on Christmas Eve with a sack over his back.
Harry: "What you think he's up to"
Fred: "I don't really know, but I'm sure as hell going to find out".
Harry: "Fred, every person you meet is suspicious of something, when are you going to give the world a break, his a Doctor, he works at a hospital, what you think he's doing with the blood selling to to vampires".
Fred: "Hey that's his story, he could be using it as a cover up, he's probably manufacturing Heroin in those labs, he might even be the supplier for that group that's running the stuff through the tunnels".
Harry: "You drink too much coffee, its affecting your brain, no wonder their building those electronic droids (street sweepers or enforces), keep you from persecuting all the civilians."
Fred: "I don't like those sweepers, that's big brother trying to rub us out".
Harry: "Boy, you've got an extreme case of persecution complex."
Fred: "Think about it, they get enough of those droids on the street, what they going to need us for, I tell you there trying to phase us out."
Harry: "That's impossible" But it leaves him thinking.
He moves to turn on the on the radio switching the channel he turns onto Pussy.
Well of course in the meantime out two maggoty friends have been stirring up the neighborhood as they plough through the tunnels, causing minor disturbances, small electrical faults and what not's so the burb's are getting a little chaotic at the moment, phone calls to the police, phone calls to husbands, phone calls to neighbors, and phone calls to Pussy. I see the screen splitting into about six separate screens here with crazy American Housewives just doing there thing. Lots of hair curlers, etc. Pussy takes the calls and then turns it out.
Pussy: "Pussy's doing time with the people on the line and the news that's going out, its gonna make you shout. Seems somethings going wrong and this city ain't so pretty when the Earth its getting shitty, seems that there's a rumble and the streets just start to tumble. They tell me its a quake, when the Earth it starts to shake, so get your self inside, I'm telling you no lies, hide beneath your bath, make sure you take your blast, Cos there's no time for waiting when your whole house starts a shaking. And if your doing road, I suggest a new abode, cos when it starts to split , you'll be looking at the clit of the mother earth lode. So while its going down, its time I found the sound, that reaches for the heart to break this world apart, Breaking it on down with the Suicidal Sound
Harry in the car looks at Fred.
Harry: "Did you understand any of that"
They drive past Rhyd whose standing on the corner with Board. Switches to that scene.
Rhyd: "So where do you think I'm going to find these two oversized maggots."
Board: "I would suggest that due to growth hormone development they have probably reached maturity and would be seeking a suitable place to pupate obviously if the offspring are to survive they will need to be positioned around a suitable food supply. "
Rhyd: "So what are you saying , the Zoo"
Board: " No, the food supply is still living and the offspring would be likely to fall prey in the initial growth stage I would suggest that maggots would be looking for a nesting place with a supply of food in a readily digestible form, more likely already dead "
Rhyd goes into thinking stage
Rhyd: "The Mortuary or the Slaughter House"
Board: "Both suitable sites".
At this stage Rhyd yells out in pain again
and hits down at his leg.
Rhyd: "What you do that for?"
Board: "Do what for?"
Rhyd: "Send the shock up my leg"
Board: "I didn't"
Rhyd bends down and pulls up his pants, we see a couple of ants fall out on the ground"
Rhyd: "(Fuckin) Asshole ant bit me".
Rhyd: "So which place you think we should check out first"|
Board: "I would suggest the Slaughter House, its closest".
With that they take of in the direction of the Slaughter House, Rhyd puts his feet back on the Board
Now we're wondering just whats going on with our two over grown maggots, well of course there hungry and the sewerage system just ain't tickling their fancy anymore and their after a bigger feast, guess where they've been heading to find that. Well of course their fine tuned sense of smell and direction is taking them on a crash course for the Slaughter House, all that MEAT, all that BLOOD, I think there is going to be one huge food fight between our two maggoty friends, wonder if its going to get nasty. No wonder Harry felt a tremor seems they must have been close.
Switches to J-String knocking on the door of the Skate Shop. Forbes opens the door, his looking kind of sickly, either he hasn't had any sun lately or not enough snacking out on his favorite day time munchies, little boys least we forget. J-String looks at him a little weirdly, she already senses somethings wrong. Forbes really isn't in a good mood because his not getting fed right.
Forbes: "Hello young lady, how can I help you".
Not opening the door for her to come in, which immediately makes her
J-String: "I'd like to have a look in your shop"
Forbes: "Well most of my range isn't suitable for girls"
J-String obviously is going to get annoyed at that comment.
J-String: "Well my friend bought a board here and I wouldn't mind having a look at what you've got".
Forbes: "Ohh alright, come on in then"
J-String enters the shop and the door closes locked behind her. She doesn't realize this. Basically her eyes are popping out of her head with all the decked out gear the guys got.
Forbes: "So what type of board did your friend purchase"
J-String snooping around a bit and notices a weird smell, she hasn't worked out what its coming from , in the meantime , Forbes is starting to drool, not enough lunch packs I'd suggest, J-String doesn't notice, but the audience does. Were all getting a bit scared and wishing that J- would hot tail her butt right out of there.
J-String: "Well its pretty cool actually , has all these built in features"
Forbes immediately knows the board and the person.
Forbes: "Ahh that Board, that's a very special board, I only ever got one of those sold to me by a rather odd looking man, I'm sorry I cant help you, but maybe you can help me".
Takes a step towards J-String,
J-String : "Well I doubt it, what do you want"
Forbes : "You "
Forbes lurches forwards and grabs J-String. In the process of trying to fight him off she rips the out costume that he's wearing and we see him again . J- String of course is just that shocked , she screams, and either passes out or receives a walloping back hand that knocks her out. We see her being dragged into the back room of the shop.
Forbes: "Not as tastie as the male species but they seem to be in short supply".
Door closes on back room.
As the door closes swing to the door of the Lab being open. Fred and Harry are looking around.
Fred: "So just what is it that you do in here".
Dr. Sickle: "Well as I mentioned I study the cellular level of the biotic family of plants, you see they have a soft cellulose lining which is far superior in its physical properties, I mean seriously, a living organism that can convert the energy of the sun to grow a soft cellular outer membrane think of the possibilities with the cross fertilization of human tissue"
Dr. Sickles got his eyes on some of his tissue cells in a microscope meanwhile Harry's looking around the Lab , Fred's kind of transfixed by what Dr. Sickles saying
Harry: "I don't think I understand where your coming from".
As he says this he's fumbling with the switch on the boil plug and turns it up, Dr. Sickle turns around to see this happen. Without wanting to appear too suspicious but obviously rattled, He says
Dr. Sickle: "Please, please gentleman do not touch anything, my work is carried out under extremely sensitive conditions the slightest variable will impact upon my work"
Harry: "Sure, Sure Doctor".
When the Doctor turns back around Harry turns the knob back we notice that its about 10 degrees out and the temperature starts to rise, more steam is hitting the electronic sensor pad.
Fred: "So what's the point of all your work Dr. Sickle, what are you trying to create".
Dr. Sickle : "Well its not so much create, as to find a solution, you see my face is incredible scared, and scar tissues is inelastic, infact its quite hard so my face is quite distorted. The same thing happens when someone gets burnt or injured, the skin tissue doesn't repair completely. I believe that I can create a living tissue sample that will utilize the suns photosynthetic rays to reproduce a softer scar tissue and aid in skin tissue repair.
Fred: "Sounds like a lot of horseshit to me, guess my taxes go to paying for this"
Dr. Sickle: "Well some of it"
Meanwhile where all getting rather nervous cos. we know the doors about to blow on the hidden lab.
Fred to Harry: "Okay I've heard enough, lets get out of here"
They both start to leave and of course its time for the fully blow out action bit.
Swish the door opens, on the other side of the room. They all turn to face it, the cops are obviously surprised,
Fred: "What the heck is going on here".
Pulls out his gun,
Fred: "Dr. Get Away From The Door"
Well of course the Dr. moves towards the door, he has to protect his lovelies and then we have it a group of Night Ghouls appear from the door, faces green and plantey, grey with dead tissues cells
Basically an ugly bunch of mothers. Next thing we know Harry's yelling "Night Ghoulies" and letting a round off. We have a casualty the Doctor. Its a mass panic and both cops are running outside for the car,Fred calls in
Fred : "Get the Force down here right away we got an emergency at the Hospital, send back up we've found the source of ghoul's that are playing havoc with the streets, we've got a crazy Psychotic Doctor manufacturing night ghoulies , we need backup, get them here right away".
Switches to Operator
Operator: "Sure thing just as long as you realize that's not the only emergency going on in town right now"
Fred: "I don't care what other f----------emergencies you've got we need backup"
Operator: "Hold Please, I have another incoming call"
You know this is the mad panic bit.
Operator : "Call Please"
Slaughter Owner : "Where those two fat lazy cops assholes you've got trying to find me them there self mutilating brothers, now I got my meat going off, I got a power failure happening and I got the ground shaking so much round here, I'm about to fall though the floor boards, you get those assholes back round here cos. I need help, I'm trapped in my office there's something going on out in the refrigeration area and I can get out there, you get those assholes and you get them to get their assholes over here right away. And while your at it get them to ring the ant exterminator, I've got a nest here somewhere bigger than the Grand Canyon"
Operator : "Thankyou sir, your complaint will be reported, well have someone there right away"
Operator to Fred: "You have back up on the way "
Operator to SO : "I'm sorry sir you'll have to call -------- for ant exterminations"
So Rhyd rolls into the Slaughter House we see a couple of ants being
squelched they seem to be very active around the Slaughter House. Lots of
destruction being caused by the rumblings of the maggots moving under ground
they haven't actually surfaced yet. They enter the Slaughter House and hear the
owner banging away in the back room.
Rhyd: " I think we've found them, now you mind telling me how I'm going to get close enough to these things to get a tissue sample for you to synthesize "
Board : "I haven't given that a lot of consideration"
Rhyd : "Well start thinking fast cos. we've got a problem"
Next thing we know the two maggots burst through the concrete floor (Do you think we can get Stone Cold to make it) , Rhyd and the board start sliding towards the maggots.
Board: "Well I think the only solution is to incapacitate them and take a sample while in a dormant stage".|
Rhyd: "So how we going to do that" - This is all being yelled cos. the maggots are making a high pitch sound while all this is happening.
Board: "Do you have a tranquilizer gun"
Rhyd: "Oh yeah, I forgot I carry one on me all the time in case I run into over sized maggots, what do you think I am a Vet"
Board: " I have a possible solution"
Rhyd : "Well what is it"
Board: "I noticed a preponderance of the ant sub species on our way in to the Slaughter House, I suggest that there could be a nest located in the vicinity"
Rhyd: " and how'd you notice that"
Board: "Well my wheel linings are physically structured to identify any substance that I come incontact with, that gives me the ability to modify the density of wheels for different terrain"
Rhyd: "Now you tell me, so what do the ant's have to do with anything"
Remember of course the maggots are getting closer and it may just be there last meal before the pupate stage so your meant to be really scared.
Board: " Well ants secret a slight anesthetic before digesting their food, I could use the signaling device to create a sonic disturbance this would infuriate the nesting ants into a combat mode, causing them to attack the moving object, namely the maggots"
Rhyd : "Well I don't see that we have much choice, DO IT"
So board sends up his signaling device and next thing we see the ant's little antenna's waving around madly as they pick up the signal. Does this crack you up or what. Next thing we know the ants are storming the maggots in a full blown out insect war. Problem is that's not all, you see board doesn't know what was going on inside of Rhyd, so when the signal starts, Rhyd begins having all these convulsion attacks and we see some really gross things happening to this guy, you see cos. Rhyds got ants living inside of him. So basically we see him fall to the ground and his whole body just starts doing this totally twisted eppo dance, next thing his skin splits apart in a million different places and all these ants start pouring out his body and they also start attacking the Maggots. I mean these ants are swarming, and the maggots are completely covered just this black swarming mess. Well of course they succumb to the ants and we see them fall on their sides, Board stops the signaling frequency but this does not stop the ants, and they go to the next stage Ant Madness and its Munch out time, this is happening fast , and we see the Maggot's slowly disintegrating into a smaller and smaller pile of dusty remnants.
Boards freaking out a bit because this wasn't part of the plan, he's know trying to wake Rhyd up with one of his Jolts but Rhyd's off to LA LA Land to visit, King Board.
Swaps to scene Rhyd's being carried in the time tunnel he looks down and we
see the scene unfolding below at the hospital. We zoom in on whats happening
there. Seems the back up have turned up and the Ghoulies are been wiped out of
course, Dr. Sickles a sobbing mess and we see him being led away in a police
Fred and Harry are looking rather proud of themselves.
Incoming call in car
Operator: "We've got a disturbance down at the Slaughter House, maybe a vandalism attack".
Fred: "Give me a break , is this day ever going to end"
Operator: "Sorry Sarge, guess its one of those days ".
Fred and Harry: "Were on our way"
Meanwhile Rhyd's already on his way:
King Board: "Welcome Rhyd"
Rhyd: "I'm in a lot of pain"
King Board: "That is true but with pain come's great knowledge"
Rhyd: "Well tell me the news cos. I cant see the small print."
KB: " Your metamorphosis has reached the first stage of completion, you can know begin to serve your Earthly purpose".
Rhyd: "And what is my purpose"
KB: "Earth life is dying, the chains that keep the system functioning as a structural whole are in collapse, human kind has not integrated itself to respect the codynamics of the Earths fragile structure. Your purpose is the key to maintaining ecological balance on Earth. The cities destroy this balance, life is destroyed, spirit is destroyed, the conglomeration of grey builds over the very existence that perpetuates life on this planet. Insects are the first step in the evolutionary chain. They provide life which in turn reproduces the life that feeds the Earth. Your purpose Rhyd is to maintain that life, your body has become a producer of insect life , your breath gives life in a place where subsoils no longer exist to maintain that environment, you are the Keeper of the Insects , you are King Of Boards, your purpose is to create life wherever your may travel, you are Life itself, Welcome to your existence as you are associated into the Celestial Sphere of existence.
With that we see Rhyd fall back through the time door.
Rhyd awakes to the Jolt from Board and as he goes to speak we see a golden
ray of light emerging from his mouth and an insect fly's from it , ( I like the
idea of a butterfly but you guys might think its to feminine). I probably start
crying at this point.
Rhyd: "What happened"
Board : "It didn't go according to plan we wont be able to retrieve that skin tissue"
Rhyd: "Don't worry so much about that, I think things are going to turn out alright, lets get home".
Rhyd hops on board and they set off home, they run into Fred and Harry on the
Fred: "What are you doing here son"
Rhyd: "Just doing some tricks on my new board"
Fred: "Cant you see the sign, no skating, now get your ass out of here" BOO.
Fred and Harry go into the Slaughter House, they can hear the owner going off in the back room,
Fred: "What the hell happened here as he goes to open the door where the owners located". Lets him out.
Owner: "I'll be dammed if I know, probably those two brothers come back to pay me a visit and do me in"
Harry takes a look around and calls Fred:
Harry: "Fred come and take a look at this "
Fred rushes over.
Fred: "Its that tunnel I bet those two guys that are working for you are the drug pushers were looking for"
He gets all excited and gets in the tunnel with his torch.
Fred: "Get in here, we've got some drug pushers to find, Harry just looks at the owner in this here we go again kind of way and they start walking through the tunnel.
Its a kind of a funny ending for these two cos. their just looking for something that doesn't exist.
Meanwhile Rhyd's turns up at the apartments and sees the notice on J- Strings door.
Rhyd: "I cant believe it, she's gone and done
exactly the opposite to what I told her, quick Board we've got to get to the
So its another mad panic scene and Rhyd's now getting into some high flying board tactics to get to the shop. As he gets there, we notice Forbes walking down the Street away from the shop, Rhyd doesn't notice this.
Rhyd's banging furiously on the door
Rhyd: "Let me in, let me in". He uses a bit of brute strength and busts down the door. We see him looking around but the shops empty. He races out the back and that's when he stumbles into the back room.
Now this bits going to come as a surprise to you all but what we've got here is a dead corpse people, yep J-Strings bitten the dust, she's had the life force sucked right out of her. Rhyd rushes over to her and falls down on his knees at her feet. He looks up with the most determined look on his face and says:
Rhyd: " I will avenge you"
Well with that the credits start to role and we have Pussy in the background turning out the discs.
Pussy: "Well those of you that are in the know,
this ones going to make you blow, you'll be wipp'en away those tears, you'll be
throwing away those fears cos. this girls been gone for years, call it the irony
of life , the bad deals that get you into stife, J she went down the hard way,
thats what happens in this town, but her sound will still go down, even when
there's noone else around. Made into the top ten , could have said that she's my
friend , but when all is said and gone , this song of her still lingers
Cuts to the lingering memory of J-String Song and Band.
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Dated Friday the 16th June 2000. Please note this script has been released prior to original plans due to circumstances out of my control (unforeseen), Dated 16th June 2000.
This is the second draft and may be modified for screen use when above conditions have been reached.